Well, if you prefer to live in the linguistic shadows, don't read any further.

Zdaravstvuite!
It's probably one of the first phrases foreigners learn upon arriving in the Russian-speaking world, although many probably don't give much thought to what they are actually saying. Who cares? As long as one of the many pleasant young ladies who labor in Ukraine's service industry responds, right? Well, if you prefer to live in the linguistic shadows, don't read any further.

On the other hand, if you are wondering why we are discussing Russian in Ukraine, where the official language is Ukrainian, listen more closely as you stroll down Khresh: Both languages are spoken and mixed as the locals like. I, for one, am not about to tell them how they should speak.

Having said this, you aren't likely to hear, "Divchina!" [Дівчина](the Ukrainian equivalent) in a Kyiv cafe. I welcome all arguments to the contrary, but what I hear (as a Ukrainian Observer) is "Pereproshuyu" [Перепрошую] or "Excuse me."

So how do you translate the word "dyevushka" [девушка]? The fact is that she is neither a woman nor a girl, but (in the strictest sense) a female of childbearing age who hasn't had a child yet. This isn't strange for most European languages, like the Spanish 'senorita' or French 'mademoiselle.' However, we English speakers don't care for such explicit referrals to reproduction in our speech.

The English equivalent used to be 'maiden' or 'maid, ' which still exists in denoting the woman who cleans your house (although she's usually not so young anymore) and in the job title, 'barmaid, ' who often has the same social status as our dyevushka.

But again, we English speakers have done everything in our power to eradicate sex from our language and we don't like to think in these terms. First, we dropped gender and, following the feminist movement, creating the sterile title "Ms" so that no one knows whether our females are married or not.

Linguistically castrated as we are, however, we have no problems with getting a stranger's attention in a polite way. For Russian speakers, the task is more awkward.

For example, what do you do if the female you are addressing looks as though she's no stranger to childbirth? In fact, she may be toting two rug rats under her arms at the very moment you want to get her attention.

Well, first, it should be made clear that Russian speakers aren't really that interested in determining a woman's reproductive history before addressing her. If she's under 40 or looks like she wants to be seen as such, call her "dyevushka, " for heaven's sake. If she has a matronly appearance and looks like she would be more inclined to scold a man rather than to flirt with him, then you may risk calling her "zhenshchina" [женщина] (woman) although it often sounds just as awkward as it does in English.

If we Anglos want to be nice, we can call our females (regardless of age or reproductive status) "Ladies." Imagine: Two brawny housewives from a Detroit housing project get into a scrap during an intense bingo session, and the security guard tries to separate them, repeating the word "Ladies!" every five seconds.

The equivalent of "lady" in Russian, "Damy, " [Дамы] is not used nearly as often, though perhaps it should be.

Even more interesting in the Russian-language world are the other age groups. The word "babushka, " [бабушка] for example, is also very familiar to foreign travelers, but it doesn't mean "old woman" as many think. It means "grandmother, " and you don't have to be related to use it. Having said this, most native speakers use it in the third person: "I bought a pack of smokes from the babushka." Nevertheless, if she looks like a simple woman (poor or from a village), many will say to her face: "Babushka, give me a pack of Marlboros."

For the foreigner, keep in mind that this approach is coarse, and depending on the situation and the woman you are speaking to, potentially rude.

Continuing along the family tree, you also can refer to a woman as "tyotya" [тетя] or "aunt". Even more so than with babushkas, you don't often say it to their faces. Moreover, roughly speaking, all females can be descriptively referred to as either "devochkas" [девочки] (girls), "devushkas" [девушки] (young ladies), tyotyas [тети] (not so young) and babushkas.

There is, of course, a whole slew of other names by which men (and sometimes women) refer to females - most of them are indelicate, if not insulting. Baba [баба] (broad), telka [телка] (literally, "hefer"), devka [девка] (wench - only nastier and without the cute medieval association that it has in English), korova [корова] (literally, "cow" and more often used by women) and devitsya [девица] (girly - not nasty, but definitely disrespectful).

Now let's turn to the men. Basically the system here runs parallel to the one for women. You are either a granddad (dedushka) [дедушка], uncle (dyadya) [дядя], young man (molodoy chelovek) [молодой человек] or boy (malchik) [мальчик]. Like with the female titles, I wouldn't recommend you calling a silver-haired gentleman a "dedushka' or "dyed' [дед] to his face. He would be even more sensitive than a babushka to this form of address.

As far as the word "dyadya" goes, if you are older than 25, you could easily be addressed as such by a confident, but by no means aggressive, Russian-speaking teenager. You would address him, in return, as "malchik, " just to show him who is boss.

Most 30-something foreign men really get a treat in this part of the world by being called "molodoy chelovek, " and not just by old grannies. To the Russian mind, if you aren't clearly over 40 (and therefore fat, bald and cynical), you still deserve to be called a young man.

The word muzhchyna [мужчина] (man) is also used awkwardly if the person you are addressing is too old for 'molodoy chelovek' and two young for 'dedushka.' In addition, it carries as much if not more of the macho trappings as the word 'man' does in English: A real man is strong, confident and responsible.

One female acquaintance described men who don't act like real men as 'samtsy' [самцы] or 'males, ' which, unlike in English, is only used to refer to animals.

The parallel holds true for the word 'malchik' or 'boy.' It can mean he's still green and wet behind the ears, or be used in a friendly sense, as in, "Let's go, boys."

You would never hear the word 'muzhchyna' being used like the word 'man' is sometimes used in English: "Hey man, do you have a light?"

However, there seems to be a disproportionate number of words for younger men: The word 'paren' [парень] seems to mean just a little younger than a molodoy chelovek. And 'patsan' [пацан] comes pretty close to the English "kid, " except it doesn't refer to little nippers.

There is also no equivalent for the English 'guy, ' which can refer to anyone who is male. At some point, the Russian speaker would feel obliged to define whether he's talking about a 'dyadya' (which can be used with a pretty broad range of ages) or a 'malchik.'

There is also the word 'muzhik' [мужик] which means he's a regular guy (i.e. not some fancy pants). It used to distinguish the peasant from the lord in tsarist times.

On that score, I'm sure that many an English speaker has wondered how he should address a man of respect. You know his name is Ivan Ivanov, and your dictionary tells you that mister is translated as Gospodin Ivanov, but somehow it doesn't sound right.

The answer to this dilemma is the patronymic, that strange second name that Russian-speakers use. It denotes the name of the father, but that's not really the point. Instead of calling someone
Mr. Ivanov, you would call him Ivan Ivanovich (without the last name), Which means John, son of John. You definitely wouldn't call him Gospodin Ivanov, though Russian speakers almost never correct foreigners who do.

Gospodin [Господин] has a tsarist smack to it and literally means something like 'master.' Back then, you were a gospodin, a muzhik or the Tsar. The title quickly went out of style under the Soviets, who wanted everyone to be called 'tovaryshch' [товарищ] (comrade). Today, both are used ironically.

Confused? You aren't alone. During initial meetings, men in suits will often invite me into their offices using phrases like "Pan John" (Ukrainian for Gospodin) or "Meester Marone." If you're at a loss, just say "Izvinite" [Извините] to get someone's attention or "Pozhalusta" [Пожалуйста] (please) to offer them yours. 

Almost heaven, west virginia
Blue ridge mountains, shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my memries, gather round her
Miners lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice, in the mornin hours she calls to me
The radio reminds me of my home far a-way
And drivin down the road I get a feeling
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads.

Russian Swearing English Translation
Hooy tebe v zhopu! Prick up your ass! (refusal to a person)
Hooy na ny! No fucking way!
Hooy morzhovy Walrus dick (to a person)
Mandavoshka Cunt louse (to a woman)
Gandon Condom (could be used to a person)
Gandon shtopany Darned condom (to a person)
Perdoon stary Old Fart
Pizda staraya Old woman (old cunt)
Pizdobol Fucking liar
Pizdoon Fucking liar
Govnosos Shit Sucker
Hooyesos Dick sucker
Sosat' To suck
Govnodavy Ugly Big Shoes (lit. Shit-smashers)
Pidorka Knitted hat (slang)
Gandonka Knitted hat (slang)
Moodozvon Wacko
Masturbator Masturbator
Pizdet' To bullshit
Yebat' vashu mat' Damn it! (fuck your mother)
Yebat'-Kopat' Damn it! (Fucking-digging!)
Yebany v rot Holly Fuck! (fuck the mouth!)
Zaebis' Holy Fuck! (could be bad or good)
Pizdets Fucked up situation
Po hooy Don't fucking care
Do pizdy Don't fucking care
Yelda Huge dick
Zalupa Dickhead
Tselka Virgin
Kozel Passive gay (jail slang, goat")
Petookh Passive gay (jail slang, "rooster")
Petookh (or Kozel) opooscheny A raped male prison bitch (jail slang)
Minet Blow job
Naveshat' pizdyley To beat shit out someone
Dat' pizdy To beat shit out someone
Pizdy vlomit' To beat shit out someone
Srat' tebe v rot To shit in your mouth
Past' zabej, padla jebanaja Shut the fuck up, you fukin' bitch
Zasranec Asshole
Promudobliadskaja pizdoprojebina Fucking bitch
Nu vse, tebe pizda That's it, you're fuckin' dead
Poshyel k chyertu Go to hell
Potselui mou zhopy Kiss my ass
Zhri govno i zdohni! Eat shit and die!
Yob tvoyu mat Fuck your mother
Durak neshtiasnyI You unlucky idiot
Balvan Thick headed fool
Dubiina Idiot (lit. A piece of wood)
Viyebnutsa Show-off
Peesa Polite penis
Govno Shit
Khui Cock
Pizda Cunt
Zhopa Asshole
Sraka An ass
Mudak An asshole
Ti liubeesh papeenu pees'ku sassat' You love to suck your dad's dick
Passossee mayee yaitsa Suck my balls
Ti Durak You're a moron
Zacroy svoy peesavati rot, sooka Shut your fucking mouth, bitch
Zacroy rot Shut up
Pacheemu ti takoy galuboy Why are you so gay?
Ti deegeneeraat You're a degenerate
Bliad' Whore
Govniuk Shithead
Pidaras Asshole, dickhead
Poshol nahuj Fuck off, fuck you
Pashol na khui Fuck off, fuck you
Eto mnye do huya I don't give a fuck
Na huy...? Why the fuck...?
A huy li? Why the fuck not?
Huy tebye v glaz! A dick in your eye
Yobanaya suka! Fucking Bitch
Otyebis ot menya! Get the fuck away from me
Yobni yivo Beat him!
Yob materi vashi! I fucked all of your mothers
Loh Loser
Pidar Faggot
Pasasee mayu peesku Suck my dick
Tvoy papa galuboy Your dad is gay
Ti galuboy You are gay
Ootebya nyetu peeski You have no dick
Nee da dyeloni Fucked up (lit. undone)
Ya hachu tebya traykhate I want to fuck you
Ya hachu traykhate tvayu mamu I want to fuck your mom
Zasranees Shithead
Kooshay govno sooka Eat shit, bitch
Ootebya nyet yayeesav You have no balls
Cuchka derganaya Crazy bitch
Poydi k chertu Go to hell
Poydi v jopu Go up an ass
Fsyoe zaeebahnuh All fucked-up
Gndon Condom
Prezirvativ Condom
Thomarai gand mai lund hai? Is a dick stuck up your ass?
Eedee tryakhate tvayu mamu Go fuck your mom
Suka / sooka Bitch
Jebat moi lisiy cherep Fuck my bald skull
Chlen tebie v rot Take a dick in your mouth
Otyebis Fuck off
Zhopu porvu margala vikoliu I'll rip your ass and poke out your eyes
Otsosi Suck my dick
Otlez' gnida Fuck off, you flea-child
Zhopoliz Ass licker
Srachishche Huge ass
Zhirniy pidaras Fat faggot
Zhopoyeb Ass fucker
Perestan dedushkin huy sasat Stop sucking grandpa's dick
Idi nahuey Fuck off
Yobaniy peedir Fucking faggot
Zayibiz Stuff your mouth
Yielda(k) Dick
Manda Pussy
Ya tibyi dam po yibalu I fill hit you in your face
Za cyun v shopu Stick it in your ass
Tvaya mat sasala mney Your mom sucked me off
Tvoy bradt peeder Your brother is a faggot
Ahueyet What the fuck!?
Vrot In your mouth
Ti sleepoy, asleyp Impotent
Ya tvoy rot naoborot I fucked your mouth
Otsosi, potom prosi Blow my cock. then make a wish
Idi v jopu Go up an ass
Jri govno i zdohni Eat shit and die
Sukka Slut
Blad Whore
Bliatz Bitch
Opezdol Idiot
Ebanashka Crazy person
Eblan A stupid guy
Dolboyob A stupid guy
Raspizdyai A stupid guy
Mudlan A stupid guy
Huyesos Cock sucker
Ja Pycckij pidaras You are a loser
Alkash You drunk!
Babnik A womanizer
Blin Shit!
Vali otsyuda Fuck off!
Goluboj Gay guy
Devushka po vyzovu A prostitute
Zi detka Hey baby
Dostal/zakolebal You have pissed me off
Dura Fool (female)
Durak Fool (male)
Zadnitza An ass; jerk
Zanuda Boring person
Zatknis Shut up
Ischenzni Get lost
Kakaya zanuda What a bore
Kakogo chyorta What the hell
Kachok Jock strap
Kolot'sya/shiryat'sya Taking injected drugs
Konchaj bazar Stop talking
Loh Sucker
Macho A player
Mne nasrat', chto ty dumaesh' I don't care what you think
Mne do lampochki I don't care
Mne vse ravno I don't care
Mymra Mean woman
Navesele Buzzed
Na ushah Buzzed
Ne beri v goluvu Chill out
Ogrysat'sya Rude remark
Ostyn' Chill out
Otvali Piss off
Pedik Gay guy
Perdet' Fart
Pit' zapoem A chronic drunk
Pojlo Liquor
Poshyol ty' Fuck you
Pridurok Nitwit
P'yan v stel-ku Really drunk
Svoloch' Bastard
Sidet' na igle Druggy (injects needles)
Suka Bitch
Travka Weed
Trajat'sya To have sex
Tyuryaga Jail
Halyavshchik Deadbeat; lazy person
Hren Cock, dick
Chyort voz'mi! Damn it!, Oh shit!
Chyort poberi! Damn it!, Oh shit!
Chyort! Damn!, Hell!
Chush' sobach'ya Bull shit!
Yajtza Balls, testicles
Zloebuchii hui Hard fucking dick
Ebanii rot Fucked mouth
Pidar Faggot
Idi v zhopu Go to hell
Loh Loser
Ia tebya imeyu I'm having you (you're my bitch)
Perhot' podzalupnaya Pee hole dandruff
Minyet To give a blow job
Pizda lisaya Bold pussy
Chlen marinovanii A marinated dick
Uyoben' Pizdogalovii A fucked up pussy head
Raspizdyay Kolhoznii A stupid Redneck
Kon' Pedal'nii Idiot (lit: horse with pedals)
Bariga Drug-dealer
Suka anusnaya Anus bitch
Idi nyuhai plavki Go smell underwear
Pizda ti jopoglazaya You are a vagina with eyes on your ass
Rodilsya cherez jopu You were born through the ass
Pizda s ushami A vagina with ears
Zalupoglazaya mondavushka Slut with pee hole-eyes
Anus perepuganii A scared anus
Otebis' Fuck off
Khrenoten' Fucked up thing (usually situation)
Indanahway suka bluut Fuck off bitch slut (highly offensive)
Shliuha Slut
Shliushka Little slut
Zatknis' na hui Shut the fuck up
Mne pohui I don't give a fuck
Chort tzdbya beeree! The devil with you!
Niegadzai Good for nothing
Svolotch Swine
Sooksin Son of a bitch
Pizda Pussy
Yebat' - kopat' Shit (lit. fuck and dig)
Jopa Asshole, bad situation
Perestan' bit dabayobom Stop being a dipshit
Ya sru na tvayu mat' I shit on your mother
Na kaleni, suka On your knees, bitch
Pidar beshenyi Mad faggot
Pizda na palochke Cunt on a stick
Suka sranaya Fucking bitch (lit. shitty bitch)
Yobanyi karas' Fucking moron (lit. fucked crucian)
Yeban'ko maloletnee Adolescent jerk
Yeblan Fucker
Zjelob Dickhead
Ment (plural: menti) Police agent, militia agent (slang)
Zona Prison
Na zone In prison
Nedonosok Child born too early, moron
Ti menia dostal I've had enough of you
Ya tebia dostal I've had enough of you
Shluha vokzal'naja Train station whore
Potaskushka Slut
Wed'ma Witch
Past' zakroi Shut it
Tvar' Creature
Vrezat tebe Hit you
Gad Asshole
Gaduka Snake, serpent
Vrubatsa Understand? (slang)
Huyniu nesti Talking crap
Savok Asshole (old slang)
Poshlaja svenja Chauvinistic pig
Dovodit Provoke, pester, annoy, tempt
Unbju! I'll kill you
Prishju! I'll kill you! (slang, old)
Paritsa (ne par'sia) Getting upset (calm down)
Starik Old man
Bomzj Homeless
Durak 1. Idiot. 2. Russian card game
Botanik Nerd
Burda Messed up
Na panele A whore (lit. on the board)
Krisha poehala Has gone insane
Nochnaja babochka Hooker (literally: night butterfly)
Kak muhi na govno Like flies to shit
Vlip You're in deep shit (literally: stuck)
Popal You're in deep trouble (literally: you hit)
Promazal You missed
Svinets Lead (bullets)
Pulia Bullet
Pushka Gun (literally: cannon)
Kalash Kalashnikov
Gaishnik Policemen who checks cars
GAI Road police
Oblom Fucked-up (lit. broken)
Ne pudri mne mozgi Don't try to confuse me
Okachenel I'm so cold I'm stiff
Vstat Rise (also for stiff dick)
Hohol Insult for Ukrainian
Patsan Boy, lad
Kosiak Joint, drug-filled cigarette
Kosiachok Joint, drug-filled cigarette
Lobizatsa A suck-up
Razvaluha Car that's falling apart as it goes
Derevianni rubli Useless money (lit. wooden rubles)
Baba Jaga Witch
Zmei Gorinich Dragon, snake, negative meaning
Koshei Bessmertni Either very ugly or very skinny male
Vziatka Bribe money
Vziatochnik Someone who takes bribes
Baba Fat, ugly, mannerless woman
Rabochie Working class
Udavis Suffocate in it!
Podonok A person that's the lowest of the lowest
Tovo, on/ona tovo He's there, as in, he's insane (or she)
Goli Naked
Obnazjonni Nude
Rvani Ripped
Podrani Beaten, ripped
Zadrani 1. Ripped/beaten to pieces, 2. Lifted
Zjulik Cheater, criminal who rips people off
Zviaknut Give a call by telephone
Roga pristavit Cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend
Jaitsa razbit Kick your balls
Raskvasit Beat to a bloody pulp
Maloletka Little slut (lit. underage girl)
Molokosos Underage boy (lit. milk sucker)
Yebani v rot Fuck! (lit. fucked in the mouth)
Yebanat Fuck head
Yebanat vonuchii Stinky fuck head
Ne hnich Don't cry (rude)
U tya pizda, vedro so svistom provalivaetsja Your pussy, a bucket falls in with a whistle.
Huyeplet Lying faggot (lit. cock twiner)
Mordoboy Big fight (lit. face smasher)
Sooka sin Pizdogreez Son of a bitch
Pizdeet kak Trotsky Bullshits like Trotsky
Rakom Doggy-style
PAltsem delanniy Moron (lit. conceived with a finger)
Ebis' konyom Get a horse to fuck you
Tryahomoodiya Petty trifles (lit. stuff shaken off the balls)
EbAt'sya-koovyrkAt'sya Shit! (lit. fuck and tumble)
Peezdit' Steal
Speezdil Stole
Pizdets Deep shit
Polniy pizdets Game over, we are dead
Nam khana We are as good as dead
Pizdyook Bloke (lit. cunt man)
Mozgoyob Nuisance of a man (lit. brain fucker)
Moodeela Jerk
Yobany stos Fuck! or Shit!
Ooyobische Fucked-up bastard
Veeblyadok Whore's son
Kon' v pal'to Dickhead (lit. horse in an overcoat)
Scheklat' ebalom To be careless
Hooy tebe v zhOpu zamesto ukropu! No fucking way!
Vsyo govno, krome mochee But for some piss, the world is full of shit
Moorzilka Cheapest train-station whore
Mudak Arrogant idiot
Mudilo, mudlo Same as mudak, but stronger
Doore Drugs (lit. idiocy).
Kolesa Pills (usually narcotic) Lit. "wheels".
Prokatitsia na kolesah To get on wheels (do drugs)
Zakinutsia To take some narcotic pills.
Obkooreetsia To get stoned from smoking weed.
Svinya Pig
Skatina Idiotic animal
Deirymo Shit
Peesoon vanochiy Stinking dick
Ya tvoyu mamu yebal pakimis tye smotrel i plakal kak malinkaya suka I fucked your mom while you watched and cried like a little bitch
U tebya cho ruki iz jopi rastut? Are your hands growing from your ass? (to a really clumsy person or to one who cannot do anything right)
Rogatii kozyol A loser whose wife cheats on him (lit: goat with horns)
Golovorez Someone who slits throats (sometimes applied to Chechen terrorists)
Sestra What Chechen terrorists call their female members (lit. sister)
Brat What Chechen terrorists call their male members (lit. bother)
Shestiorka In prison, the person who is everyone's bitch and has to do as everyone else says. Also lowest card in the Russian card deck.
Nu ti dajosh! Exclamation of amazement at someone's courage or actions (can be positive and negative).
Idi obsosi tayevo papu, kak ti delayesh den, ti shluha yebanaya Go suck off your daddy like you usually do every night, you fucking whore.
Naguliala A woman who doesn't know who the father of her child is.
Peshka Someone who's not worth a thing (lit. 'pion' - the most unimportant figure in chess)
Krisha A corrupt policeman who, in return for moderate pay, protects a criminal (lit. roof)
Tya mama huyem v rot ebala. Your mother fucked you in the mouth with a dick.
Veshat lapshu na ushi To tell someone lies, try to fool someone (lit. hang spaghetti on his ears)
Oo ti bya, galava, kak, oon a bizyanie jopuh Your face looks like a monkey's ass
Shob tebe deti v sup srali I wish that your children will shit in your soup
Perestan' mne jabat' mozgi svojimi voprosami Stop fucking my brain with your questions
U tebia ochen malenki hui, skolka...pat centimetra? You have a very small dick, how much...five centimeters?
Pl'uvat' na t'eb'a Fuck you (lit. spit on you)
Techka Female period (lit. leak)
U tebya s zhopu techka You bleed through your ass
Hanurik or alkash Drunkard who would do anything to get a drink
Temno kak u negra v zhope It's as dark as the inside of a Negro's ass
Ty troop! You are dead!
Ne ssi v kompot, tam povor nogi moet Don't chicken out. (Lit: Don't piss in the bowl of punch, the cook is washing his legs in it).
Kon govno! Horse shit!
Eede vhad e sgadie kak malinkey suka Go to hell and burn like a little bitch
Golosuy ne golosuy vsyo ravno poluchish' hooy Vote or not, you've been had
Mne vsyo ostopeezdelo I'm sick of it all (lit. I feel like I fucked 100 cunts)
Bez meela v zhopu vlezet Smooth character (lit. he'll get up your ass without soap)
Sobakayob Dog fucker
Koshkayob Cat fucker
Yebanat Motherfucker
Zaebat' To fuck someone until exhausted
Pizdets A really bad situation without any solution
Sic Sukam Sim Son of a Bitch
Smekh smekhom, a pizda kverkhu mekhom. It's not fucking funny at all! (Lit. You may laugh until you cry, but your pussy is topped with fur)
Cho ti zdiess narisovalsia? Why did you come here? (lit. why did you draw yourself here?)
Dura Dumb bitch (female)
Durak Dumb asshole (male)
Blyadina Slut (very offensive)
Sabaka Dog
Mudak Sick dumb asshole (male)       

Автор: Jecku Panteleimon